Don’t you just hate it when you find yourself hating your own words and wondering where they all came from?
And it seems it’s almost always that one person that elicits such a response.They put us on the defensive and we find ourselves saying things we don’t really mean (although at the moment it feels like we do)
And, in my case, I just been to church!
That made me feel even worse.
But as the day went on, I found myself reevaluating my response. I realize that my reactions to this person are because I’m never given the same lenience as they give others. The twelve-inch ruler that I’m judged with is a six-foot javelin for others. But it’s MY issue to resolve, not theirs. We are the only ones that can control our reactions. It just takes an awareness of when we’re being sucked in and catching ourselves before we open our mouths. In my husband’s words, “Edit”.
And I had been doing so good for such a long time now. What was different about yesterday?
For one thing, I have this gastroenteritis thing going on and I really just wanted to go to bed.
Lesson one, NEVER, EVER, get caught up in a terse conversation when you’re not feeling good.
Lesson two, go to a different place in your head and just nod in agreement. Personally, I hate that. I feel that to agree with someone just for the sake of agreeing with them seems disingenuous. But my husband reassures me that is in this singular case it’s not only acceptable it’s highly recommended for my emotional and mental well-being!
Or, (still lesson number two), change the subject. Which is what I did eventually do.
So today the sun is shining and I’m determined to let it go. Oh, no. Did i really say, “Let It Go?” I’m getting really tired of that song. 🙂
I can be so hard on myself which is probably why I need others to give me some leeway here. I’m almost always my worst enemy. Most of us are.
Learning to control our words is an important step in conquering our actions. Even if the words sound false and hollow, eventually our emotions will follow. And of course the same holds true when our words are vitriolic and unkind. Those negative emotions will eventually engulf us and ruin our day. So it’s in our own best interest to watch what comes out of our mouths.
Depression or just a low-mood can often be side-tracked by the very words we, not others, use. We hear our own words much louder than anyone else’s.
So if you’re struggling today with some guilt, take it to God. Confess it. Accept His forgiveness. Try harder next time. (Asking forgiveness for the same thing time and again, though is not the answer. True contriteness requires a change of action. Jesus’s words, not mine.)
God bless each of you, my dear friends, and have a good day.