Day: October 1, 2015

trying to keep our heads above water

How I handle hurt feelings effectively

hurt feelings

(This was written a couple of years ago but I thought it deserved to be re-posted now that I know what I’m doing. ( Sorta)

The last couple of days I encountered  a couple of upsetting situations. My feelings were hurt.

Both involved people that I love very much.  The first was the vacancy I saw in someone’s eyes.  It was like no one was home.  I’ve never seen it before and it scared me.  I’ve shed some tears.  I’m trying to convince myself that she just didn’t hear me which would explain it. I’m still clinging to that.

The next was rude behavior I encountered from someone whom I have given to freely and without reservation. Someone I love, pray for and cry over. What is surprising is that I continue to allow it to happen. I tell myself I will  lovingly bring it to their attention right when it happens so I don’t keep rehashing it. But it still always catches me unaware and words fail.

Hurt feelings can really jump-start a downward spiral if we don’t stop the immediately.

when our emotion spiral downward

spiraling downward

So what did I do?

I mentally whispered to God. “Lord, would you just put this in my “trouble” box and hang on to it till we can talk?” I do this often when something is bothering me and I can’t take the tie right then to think and pray it through. I know that I need to be in a safe place when I open that box. For me, that safe place is my private time with God.

We opened the box the next morning.

box of hurt feelings

box full of hurt feelings

I poured out my hurt.  Nothing held back. No pretending.  Just me and God. I talked.  He listened. Then God talked through the scriptures and I tried hard to listen.

Beating depression means being honest with oneself. That means not making mountains out of mole hills but also not making mole hills out of mountains.

If it hurts, it hurts.

I don’t have to chastise myself for being human. Being mentally healthy doesn’t mean everything in our lives is as it we would like it to be.  It doesn’t mean there won’t be days like these. What it does mean is that we learn how to deal with hurt, fear, and disappointment in a healthy way. The method can look quite different for each of us.

Do you have a method to deal with difficult circumstances?  If not, maybe today you can begin building your own repertoire of healthy coping mechanisms.If you want to use my “box” method-be y guest.

God bless and I hope you have a good day.

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