At this time of year we are inundated with articles about how to “survive” the holidays. How to “survive’ the crowds the relatives.
But maybe that’s part of the problem. We’ve adopted the mindset that there is something to survive.
I guess I don’t understand.
First of all, if being around your relatives is so awful and painful, why do it at all?
I mean, doesn’t it stand to reason that if you feel that way, then you haven’t been associating with them anyway, so why start now? So for me, that would be an easy decision to make. That is assuming you don’t get along with any of them.
But maybe you need a time-out to figure out how much of it is your problem to begin with!
So maybe it isn’t that. Maybe it’s just that certain relatives don’t get along with certain other relatives and you don’t want to be witness to that.
Again, what’s the problem? Be person of integrity and express your concerns with honesty and love and why you choose not be a part of the unnecessary drama this year. If you’re sure of your decision, just let it go and those who can accept your decision will and those who won’t, it’s not your concern.
If you feel the need to attend whatever it is you feel the need to attend, be confident enough in your own decision-making ability, to leave when you feel the need. You don’t have to make excuses. You don’t have to lie. You can just say Merry Christmas, be pleasant, and take your departure.
So much of the stress during the holidays begins with us. We are the ones who don’t have enough integrity, who don’t have enough confidence in our own decision-making ability to do what is right for us. So if it begins with us, it can end with us.
Having said all that, maybe it isn’t about all those other people. Maybe we expect too much or not enough. Maybe we’ve gotten so used to the drama, in some strange way our acceptance of it actually encourages it.
I know for sure that how we experience the holidays, whether we enjoy them or not, pretty much starts and ends with us.
No one is a puppet. We are all perfectly capable of adopting whatever attitude we need to enjoy this wonderful season for ourselves regardless of what others are doing or feeling.
I love the holiday season but then I make it a point to. I decide early on each season that I will enjoy every minute, tiredness and all. This year I’m having to make some adjustments because of this back issue I’ve been dealing with.
So no big tree. But I have a number of smaller ones that will serve the purpose just fine. This will relieve some pain for me of getting up and down a ladder.
I will also not be baking as many cookies because I have to be off my feet for a few hours everyday.
I choose to do what I need to do for myself. I don’t find that the least bit selfish. In fact, I find it selfless because by doing that, I won’t be a “Scrooge” myself and adding to the negative drama.
Hey, I know intimately how awful some Christmas’s can be. And if you’re a young person, reading this and you don’t have a lot of choices, I can tell you that there will come a time when your Christmas can be as wonderful as you make it.
The past memories will fade as you make beautiful new ones. My Christmases are pretty much amazing and have been for a very long time. But that’s because I decided they would be. Both my husband and I did. From the day we got married.
There are so many people who are particularly lonely and sad at this time of year. Give an extra smile. Share an anonymous gift. Leave something you baked on a doorstep. Give to the Salvation Army bucket. Buy someone coffee.
Christ came to earth to bring peace, not angst, not disharmony. It’s important we each look to our own behavior first and make sure we haven’t brought on stress ourselves or add to unnecessary drama.
It’s important we present this peace and joy to the rest of the world by our attitude.
When we reach out, the drama that isn’t ours, the relatives we can’t avoid, this can all be softened when we think about the smiles we’ve put on the faces of others. It kind of takes the sting out of all the rest of it.
God bless and have a wonderful day.