This is the time of year we make resolutions, even if we say we don’t. I think it’s just where our minds go.
I find it’s more positive to concentrate on the good we want to initiate rather than concentrate on the bad habits we want to change.
For example, instead of thinking about losing ten pounds which sounds so hard and so negative, why not picture ourselves in those new styles we want to wear?
Instead of giving up something, think about what the benefits will be.
Television watching is a good example. If you want to watch less TV so you can read more, think about that book you’re never getting around to reading. Put it somewhere as a reminder that in order to read that book, something else that is taking up your time has to go. In this case, watching TV.
I exercise pretty much every day. To be honest, I like exercising because I like how it makes me feel afterward. But mostly I exercise because I like being able to do the other things I like doing and seeing as all of them involve being able to walk upright and be healthy, (Seriously how can one enjoy anything if you don’t feel good in the first place?) I exercise. I know too many unhealthy people and the one thing they all have in common is that they don’t engage in regular physical exercise.
So because I don’t want to end up like them, I exercise. I guess that is focusing on the negative but in a postive way?
Most of us have some unhealthy habits. Not all of them are obvious. Many of them lie deep inside us.
We have negative and habitual ways we respond to people. Instead of focusing on what we’re doing wrong, let’s look at how we would like our relationships to look. If our actions are causing reactions in other people that bring us down, then it’s up to us, no matter how unfair, to change our behavior.
I know someone that I care deeply for who changes the subject, (it’s so obvious, but not to them) whenever I enter territory they don’t want to talk about. So I’ve learned (and it’s a goal to continue for this next year) to approach certain subjects differently and in some cases, not at all.
This is not really healthy as most relationships function better and are healthier when there aren’t these constraints but sometimes for our own well-being we have no choice.
I’m trying to think of an example.
I’m a big advocate of people being more responsible for their health. To leave our health all in the hands of the health professionals seems crazy to me, especially when there’s so much information readily available. But I still believe in doctor’s visit, etc.
I know a few people who have been battling recurring and ongoing irksome medical problems. Rather than searching for answers through doctor’s visits and their own research, they choose to continue with the issue. I say choose because I believe in the end, that’s what it is, a choice. (I’m not talking about really serious medical conditions here, of course.)
I used to “nag” them to check-in with their doctor, to exercise more, to try certain other things to see if they work. I don’t anymore. Not because I care less for them but because I also care about myself. There’s something about running into a brick wall that hurts after a while.
Haven’t you all been there?
After a period of time, if you’re smart, you realize you need to change how you interact with some people. Now I wait for them to bring up certain subjects and then I “brainstorm” with them for a while, but when that “brainstorming” becomes nothing more than talk with no plans for follow-up, I’M the one who now changes the subject.
Anyway, as you begin this new year and if you’re trying to change some things, try to look at your goals and how to get there from a more positive approach.
It’s another dark, dreary and COLD day here in Michigan. I’m continuing to take down Christmas decorations and get the house back in order. It looks so “plain” now. I’ve got to get more accessories. (Did I tell you we fell in love with this big old house during the Christmas season?)
Here’s a before and after of my dining room hutch. Which do you prefer?
This is so boring now. It’s the lack of red, isn’t it?
After looking at my hutch now, I see I’m focusing on the negative. Enough of that.
Anyway, God bless and have a really good day.
ps. I hope you read tomorrow’s post.