Yesterday I started taking down the Christmas decorations this week. Usually I enjoy this because I get a chance to re-organize everything and earmark some for Goodwill. It’s a time I look back over the holidays and recall all the good times.
But this year was not that way at all. After I had worked a couple of hours, something dawned on me and my mood dropped.
My mom was not even in my home this Christmas season. This is a first. Yes, I tried, more than once. I tried again on New Year’s day but no, she didn’t want to come. I’ve tried to get her out of the house for weeks now with no luck.
Pretty soon, I’m going to just put her coat on her and force her out the door. Not really of course, but I’m certainly feeling that way.
Then, of course, come the doubts, have I done enough, am I doing enough?
It’s so hard to see her like this. I just want her back. The doctor and I are trying to fine tune her medications a little more. I’m so hoping this works. This is the last thing I know to do. And I hate that. I hate that I’m getting close to accepting the situation.
Later I read a post from a blogging “friend” that helped me realize others have been where I am and it helped. Her response to my comments was very helpful.
You know how much I deplore the phrase, “It is what it is”. I consider it a cop-out out and total resignation. Even should I have to accept my mother’s decline, I will not say, “It is what it is”. Besides, this phrase goes completely against Scripture. In fact, I can’t think of a single verse that suggests this philosophy.
But there are many verses like this one from Ephesisans 3:20:
“……and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power thatis at work within us, 21to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.…
Oh, that I would remember this every moment. I pray with this verse in mind often. Something like this,
“Lord, I’m praying about WYZ, but I know that my mind can only go so far. How can I pray bigger when you clearly state I can’t even begin to understand or imagine what you can do. But you can. So I give this request to you asking for you to embellish it with ALL you know.”
I didn’t put up many Christmas decorations this year, fewer than ever before. I even found it strange myself because I’m so into Christmas. But I got to wondering. Did God somehow “restrict” my desire this year because he saw how painful taking them down would be? Did he give me a little heads-up? As it was, I only had to be really sad for a couple of hours. It could’ve been a couple of days. (Yes, ordinarily, it does take me a couple of days.)
But the day was not a total “wash”. I figured out how to download audio books from my library to my phone and then listen to them on my new UE Boom. I never read Nicholas Spark’s books but my choices were very limited and I must say I love this book.
It’s called “The Best Of Me” and I’m loving it. (Remember, I posted the other day how I need to read, what I call “fluff” books, (It’s not a criticism. It’s just the best word I can find. Kind of like Hallmark Christmas movies which I watch for precisely the fact that they’re predictable and “light”.)
Then last night as I was perusing the internet, I came across this. Now if you’re a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow, you’re not going to like what I’m going to say. And she does mean well, I’m sure. But honestly? We all have such a lifestyle we have the time and money to do what she suggests? Come on, Gwyneth, get with the real world most of us live in.
Anyway, it gave me a laugh. However, I am fully on board with step number three which didn’t originate with Gwyneth; I’ve read about this health habit for a few years now. It’s getting a lot of attention these days. BTW, did you know that breakfast is NOT the most important meal of the day. If you don’t like breakfast, don’t feel compelled to eat at that time. This has been debunked by most health professionals. It really depends on the person. It’s only a good suggestion if you happen to overeat later in the day, then you might want to consider breakfast.
Wow, this post has gone from sad, to encouraging, to enjoyment, to bemusement. Sound a lot like life.
God bless and I hope you have a good day.