When there is no encouragement and no “good”word

(If you read this post yesterday, I apologize. It wasn’t supposed to go out until today. Does that tell you how overwhelmed I am? But much good has come my way since yesterday. I’ve made some progress on the legal side and some discussions with friends and family have enlightened me and solidified my thinking. Sometimes we get so intent on being “fair”, we’re not very smart. But that’s when God steps in and encourages you to take stock of not only everyone else but yourself as well. Satan likes to make us second-guess God’s clear wisdom. If we stay focused though and don’t rush ahead of ourselves, it all eventually becomes clear. That’s how God shows us mercy. So I am publishing this post again in case you missed it yesterday.

 I am reposting it under another title with some changes.  I most certainly would’ve re-read it last night and edited it. I always do. So today’s version includes some of those minor changes.)

I have a lot of versions of Proverbs 12:25 for you to read. But before you do, let me warn you.

This is a brutally honest post and I’m writing it as a long-time follower of Christ.

New International Version
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
New Living Translation
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
English Standard Version
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad
New American Standard Bible
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.
King James Bible
Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.
Aren’t these great verses? I mean they’re some of my favorite.
But guess what?
Sometimes there are no “good” words to say.
Sometimes there are no words of encouragement.
Sometimes there is nothing that can cheer us up.
Have you ever been there? When there can be no “good” outcome?
I sure hate to start your day off this way but if you’re struggling as I am with a similar situation, maybe this will help.
You all know my mom has been diagnosed with dementia. I’ve tried hard not to believe this. I’ve explained away all her symptoms as something else. But the confusion is increasing. My brother and I are pretty discouraged as we see the future and it doesn’t look good.
Is there any “good” word that anyone can say?
Before you judge my faith, this is truly a case of  “unless you’ve had this horrible disease impact your life”, you have no clue.
Where my faith does come in is not what “good” words anyone might say but only the promise that somehow, some way, God will keep his promise to me, “that he will never give me more than I can handle”. Right now I don’t see how that can be but I trust God because I know he sees the big picture.

God sees the big picture

 I only see this little microscopic and miserable part of my current situation. There is nothing “good” about dementia. There is no good “word” anyone can say. And everyone who’s experienced this with a loved one knows what I’m talking about.
There is no mention of dementia anywhere in scripture. I will be honest and say, “This really bothers me.” I mean at least if I had some specific story I could relate to, some “words” I could quote from scripture that says “Here’s what you do when someone is diagnosed with dementia”, that would help. But there’s nothing.
Many people experience situations every day for which there is no corresponding example in the Bible.
So what are we to do?
I’d like to think my faith will be strengthened. But I think it’s likely to be challenged instead.
I’d like to think I’ll have an inspirational story to tell someday, but there’s nothing inspirational about dementia.
I’d like to think I’ll come out on the other side of all this a better person but I worry that I won’t. I could go on……
But what it really boils down to is one word that I’m clinging to:


(Yesterday, as I wrote in the first paragraph, mercy showed up through conversations and insights.  Tomorrow mercy might present itself in a book or a song. Mercy has no limitations. God can use whatever vehicle he wants to send mercy our way. The only thing we have to do is recognize it.  

I am counting on God’s mercy showering me time and again in God’s most creative ways.  I am thankful today that we do indeed serve a merciful God who leads us when we are tired, angry, confused, directionless, flailing about, etc.  I’m glad we serve a merciful God that looks past our failings, real or imagined. )

I hope this helped and God bless you today.

2 replies »

  1. Dear Rebecca, I will pray for you…….its very hard and you feel guilty for not Trusting God. I have a mum who is 89 and at the moment relatively well but I worry when she wont be. Thinking of you. I follow you daily. God bless, Rosie