Bird collageLIFE

When there are too many puzzle pieces

I’ve talked to a lot of doctors these past two days during this latest crisis with my mother. There are lots of pieces to her medical puzzle.

The doctor today presented a kind of bleak future. There is only so much that can be done if my mom doesn’t spontaneously quit bleeding internally. She can be transfused but that has its own complications. We are not allowing any invasive procedures. She is too frail for that. I like what this doctor said today, “Sometimes we do to them and not for them.” I really like that statement and it reflects what my brother and I have already decided.

We don’t want her to go through anything she doesn’t need to.

That means she may be sent home in her present condition. So we’ve heard words today like palliative care and hospice. It didn’t strike fear because I’ve prepared myself for this day for a while now. How could I not?

But she is one tough woman and I still hope for the best. My biggest concern is that she gets to come home.

This is hard and I’m doing well. Of course, I could be fooling myself. And if I am, I’m OK with that. God may well be providing me with a protective covering for now.

I have a collage I put together a number of years ago that depicts in art one of my favorite verses: Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

(You will notice I used the word “wings” instead of feathers for the first part of the verse.)
Bird collage

God protects us in a number of ways, sometimes by his words, sometimes by the prayers of others, and sometimes by covering us with soft downy feathers. Right now, I like the idea of “soft”.

God bless and have a good day.

2 replies »

  1. Oh how I needed to hear that. My heart is breaking but I can say the same thing. My love for her has increased a thousand fold and I feel God’s love even more. Isn’t it strange how love and hurt are so intermingled at times. Thank you so very much.

  2. May God continue to bless you and your Mom on this journey. For me, this same journey was the biggest blessing in my life. The uncertainty, pain, struggle and suffering revealed a supernatural love that is still overwhelming.