When you think you’re not a good Christian

I love this story in Luke, chapter five.

I love it not because Peter catches a lot of fish but because his faith is such that he can speak honestly to Jesus, “Duh, been fishing all night and haven’t caught a thing. This is the same spot, Jesus. But I’ll do it anyway.

Boy, is this me a lot of the time. “Really, God? You want me to do what? Haven’t I done that many times before? Haven’t I “fished” this spot before and come away “fishless? Now it’s supposed to be different?”Really, God? You just couldn’t let this one pass? Oh, all right. I’ll do it again.”

I sometimes I wonder why we can’t just “get it right” after the first time or should I say why I just can’t get it? Wouldn’t you think just one time seeing what God can do would settle it for us? I mean, how many answered prayers does it take before we believe?

I love the apostle Peter. He’s one of my favorites. He has to learn the hard way. But he also was the first one to step out in faith. He was willing to take the leap. The only time Peter showed cowardice was when he denied Jesus but I can’t fault him for that because I might have done the same thing under those circumstances.

But his honesty is what appeals to me the most. To be that genuine is a good thing. It’s how we all should be when we “talk” with God, totally honest and open. There was a time I wasn’t honest before God. I felt I had to pray the “right” words. I used words that didn’t reflect who I really am or the way I normally talk. My prayers then were probably much more impressive than they are now. Now they’re much more “raw” and unimpressive. They’re shorter, too. However much time it takes me to express my praise and my concerns is how long it takes. I don’t check the time.

Just like most of us, I wonder sometimes if I get it right, my prayers, I mean. Let’s face, we are emotional human beings and that is reflected in our prayers, the style, the length, the passion, etc.  It is rare that I come away from my prayer time feeling like I nailed it if that’s even a possibility.

Maybe that’s not all bad though. Maybe that’s what keeps me coming back every day, throughout the day, and during the night, the fact that I have so much to learn. Maybe that means I still consider myself a “student” of prayer, and not an expert.

So if you sometimes question your own prayer life, know that at least one other person feels the same way.

God bless you and I hope you have a good day.