Day: April 6, 2017

growing

When you say, “I would never do that.”

Have you ever thought, “Oh, I would never do that, say that, feel that, etc.”

I used to say those things, too.

No more.

I’ve been pulled up my be bootstraps these past few weeks as I’ve had to deal with something I never thought would give me a moment’s concern. It’s a blessing but it also carries an obligation. I received a gift I didn’t ask for and now I’m responsible for it and all the ramifications that it brings with it.

And all this happens as my mom’s health continues to decline which means that my attention has been diverted from her somewhat and that bothers me. As of next week, much of what I am dealing with will be settled and I can relax a little.

But just like it can be in all of life’s challenges, much good came of it. These are the five things I’ve learned so far. I have a hunch there will be more.

First of all, some old resentments were brought to the surface. Once I became aware of them, I was able to put them to rest. Had I not been faced with this situation, I might never have had to confront them.

We think we’ve gotten over some things and when we find out we haven’t, it’s disheartening. But when we face ourselves, God’s love comes shining through reminding us we’re human and presenting us with opportunities to grow. 

growing

Secondly, I learned that satan (I never capitalize the name) is very alive and well. I’ve lost sleep over some decisions because I’ve let him influence my thinking process. I’m trying hard, most people would say, perhaps too hard, to be fair. What never occurred to me was that I should be fair to myself as well. I woke up one night and that is exactly what I felt God was saying to me, “Be fair to yourself, too.”.  So there’s that.

Thirdly, now I can rest knowing God will always “check” me when I’m heading down a wrong path, that my relationship with my heavenly father is such that I will have no rest unless I heed his voice. I’m so glad to know this. I would never want to think that I’m unteachable or “unleadable”.

Fourth, I’ve learned that honesty and openness with people are the only options. Sometimes it’s easy to assume in advance how people are going to respond. And it’s nice to be wrong. I was pleasantly surprised.

Finally, I’ve learned that if we give God enough time and if we just “coast” a little (assuming we have the time), the answer always comes and we feel that enormous sense of relief. When Philippian, chapter four, talks about the “peace that passes all understanding”, it never says it’s going to come easy.

I could write volumes about the roller coaster ride that has been my life these past few months. I’m looking forward to a smooth carousel ride in the future.

God bless and I hope you have a good day.

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