Day: April 21, 2017

change

What do you do when people won’t change?

Did you ever have an epiphany? I do and usually through experiences that do not lend themselves to such a thing. I mean shouldn’t there be bright lights or a flash bulb somewhere?

But still, you feel like someone has finally found your switch and turned on the lights.

A conversation I had with a friend once was such an occasion. I learned that a situation in her life that she had just told me about had been going on for three weeks. I realized right then that despite our conversations in the past around this very subject, she wasn’t likely to change even though I didn’t like it.

I’m ok with that.

We are to love others but we are also to love ourselves. I think sometimes that means we let some people stay where they are even if we know it would be better for them to change. I used to think that I had to “woo” people. Do you know what I mean?

“Wooing” is when you are always the one initiating, making the phone calls, sharing your life, reaching out. It makes one feel a little too “needy” and I think we do better when we give ourselves and others some space. Christ often gave people their “space”.

When you accept that some people just aren’t going to change and grow, you are freed from that burdensome feeling of responsiblity. And when you become free of a responsiblity that was never yours to begin with, you find yourself growing in areas where YOU need to grow. 

change

Maybe we sometimes try to help others in an effort to take our attention away from ourselves. Just sayin’.

When you realize you can’t make others behave the way they should and no amount of effort on your part is going to change them, it frees you to get on with your own life without apology or explanation.

I’m not suggesting that we become hard and uncaring.

Never!

Only that we think a little before giving away all our emotional energy on people and situations we can’t change and have no obligation to change. Some people are quite content to remain “stuck” all their lives in destructive habits and behaviors.

Real change can only come from within anyway.

change

We spend so much time trying to “fix” people and situations that we ignore the “fixing” we should be doing for ourselves. I think my mom’s ongoing dementia and failing health has brought this home to me in a very real way. I can’t change what is happening to her. I can’t “fix” her. But I can work on me.

In a way, this journey with her has helped me get off the”white horse” that I use to ride to rescue people. It feels good to be on solid ground.

God bless and have a good day.

 

 

Becoming Bold

Becoming Bold in Faith, Motherhood, and all of Life's Journeys.

The gift of depression

Are you tired of feeling bad? Of feeling "down" too much of the time? Or do you suffer from clinical depression? This blog can help. I hope you stick around.

She’s inspired

Inspired to inspire

The Everyday Life Of An Average Girl

Daily staff...food, fashion, arts & thoughts

Favglam beauty secret

The beauty you deserve

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

Paperless Tales

My life is what I have made it! Come on this journey with me and explore some of the thoughts about things that has happened in my past, present, and see whats to come of it all!

SavyFrugalGirl

Live Rich Without The Money

Grace to be Imperfect

A Christian's Journey through Social Anxiety

Chubby Bubby

Okay, brain fart... Engage!

Faith, Sigh, and DIY

Hi! My blog is eclectic but mostly I blog about spiritual issues (faith) and how our faith is impacted by our mental health, especially depression (the sigh.) I also throw in some DIY. Hope you find my blog helpful and inspirational.

Harbidemy's blog

Life. Faith. Marriage. Motivations

The Adventures of Kathy

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest gift is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Two Flew Over the Empty Nest

Chirps from a New Perch

Crazy Beautiful Life Solutions

Life Coaching & Motivational Company

Planting seeds in God’s growing garden

Be inspired by planting Gods seeds

Banter Republic

It's just banter

The OCD Mama

Hakuna Matata

%d bloggers like this: