Day: May 15, 2017

doubting my ability to cope

doubting my ability to cope tomorrow

I’m sitting here watching my little five-year-old grandson play with his toys.

Everyone is gone but him and me. He’s oblivious to my pain. He’s absorbed in his own world, just like a five-year-old should be. He looks at me and giggles and I smile.

How can I smile the night before I look on my mother’s face one last time?

The funeral is tomorrow. How am I going to do this?

I’ve done really good today, too good maybe. Does that make me uncaring? Am I insulting her?

God promises peace in the worst of times and this is most definitely the worst of times. I’m glad my little guys are here. Maybe looking on their faces will help me keep it together.

I wonder how anyone does this. Says goodbye with such finality.

A dear friend of mine just lost her sister the day before my mother died. We’re both Christian women who know God will sustain us in this loss. But we both agreed we still want them with us.

Such is the selfishness that plagues us all.

And yet it occurs to me, it’s a good thing to feel this pain. Wouldn’t it be awful to lose a mother and feel nothing? I should add my mother loved me with her whole heart. I told her once years ago, that I would never desert her, no matter what and that I would be with her to the end.

I was. To the very end.

 

 

First Time Mommy

Journey of a first time mother

Lucid Being

Ash D Solomon

The Youthful Traveller

Young, Independent and ready to collect moments

Help Me Believe

Apologetics | Theology

Emily Larcombe

Mental Health, Buddhism, LGBTQIA+, Book Reviews

PRAYERS TO THE COSMOS

Words to God in the Spirit of A COURSE IN MIRACLES and A COURSE OF LOVE. . . with Celia Hales

Quest of Life

The Life Possess The Questions.

rethink

Jesus. Church. Culture.

I Am My Own Island

Because We all need to find a way to live with ourselves

Crushed By God

"It was the Lord's will to crush Him..."

charulchandak

The girl who holds the caliber to weave her own creases of palm!❤

The Recovery Haven

Lifestyle of the sober and not so famous.

Dutch Rogue Cove

Instagram: benmiller9464

Gleaning The Scriptures

The Lord lives to teach.

%d bloggers like this: