Day: June 26, 2018


Are there two sides to every story? No, there isn’t.


What did I say?

Stay with me as I explain, I’m pretty sure you’ll be on board once I’m through.

First of all, it depends what we are talking about.

If we are referring to family squabbles, relationship arguments, etc, then I agree that there might be two valid sides. But I would prefer to say there are two different “perspectives”.

I can think of dozens of examples of when the other “side” deserves no credibility whatsoever. Here are a few:

  • A child molester has no “side” that deserves to be heard.
  • There is no “story” a rapist can give that carries any weight.
  • There no two sides to genocide.
  • Hitler and Stalin didn’t have a “side” worthy to be heard.
  • Abusers of any kind to anyone, but especially innocent children and helpless senior citizens, have nothing they can say that holds any merit.

So why do we espouse such a statement so easily?

I think it’s easy to explain.

  1. We don’t think.
  2. We resort to easy and quick answers because it’s the language of our time. It’s just another version of texting, tweeting, and “memeing”.
  3. We don’t want to be seen as disagreeable.
  4. We’re shallow.
  5. We don’t think. (No, this is not a mistake. I meant to say it twice.)

I get very tired of non-thinking people. Of course, I’m a major “over thinker” at times.

What has happened to thinking?

I mean real thinking. And to me, real thinking means we think about the statements we make before we make them.

Especially the ones about love, hate, relationships, racism, discrimination, faith, God, eternity, etc.

So many times we (and I’m guilty at times too, but not so much anymore) just say whatever comes to our mind because that’s what someone wants to hear or we just don’t want to go against the grain. We’d prefer to get along and go along than honestly share our real views.

There have been so many times in the past when I’ve “copped out” and haven’t expressed what I really thought. And, of course, there are times it isn’t appropriate or if we’re in a conversation where the other party isn’t going to engage in real discussion, it’s futile.

But recently I’ve gotten way beyond that. I am no longer afraid to say “I disagree.” But when I do, it’s usually because I know why I disagree.

However, recently I was having a conversation with someone and I knew I disagreed simply because my conscience had a strong reaction to what they said, but I wasn’t equipped to discuss it as I needed to do my own research. And that’s exactly what I said.

It shouldn’t be so hard to say, “I’m not sure I agree. I’ll check that out.”

Remember: agreeing with someone doesn’t make them right any more than disagreeing with them makes them wrong. And the reverse is true as well.

However, we usually feel uncomfortable when someone disagrees with us and vice versa.

Most people prefer to ignore any kind of confrontation.

But what good does it do to keep our opinions hidden when they will influence our relationships whether spoken or not?


So this is just a call-to-arms to be appropriately honest when it is called for. If we lose a friendship over that, it was never a true friendship anyway. And I shudder to think of how many marriages have been entered into based on dishonesty.

If you need an example of how to be honest but yet loving at the same time, read the interactions Jesus had with those he met every day. I am always amazed at how he expressed Himself so honestly and yet so kindly. And if you read carefully, you will see he did it with very few words.

“Let your “no” be “no” and your “yes” be “yes”.

let your no be no/inspirational

That’s good advice especially at this time in history when everywhere in the media vent their opinions with way too many words. But then how would they fill their time slot if they didn’t enjoy hearing themselves talk ad infinitum?

Something else Jesus didn’t do. He didn’t use a lot of adjectives.

I challenge you to pay attention to newscasters, journalists, etc and listen to the adjectives they use. Listen to the adjectives you use. Can you state it more succinctly without using adjectives?

I can remember one of the first times I didn’t feel the need to qualify my response to a request. Someone asked me to do something and I simply said, “No”, don’t think I will”, or something very close to that. And I’m not suggesting we should always be so blunt but sometimes it’s the only thing anyone can hear and when that’s the case, we have no choice. And we don’t have to explain our “No”, either.

So the next time you have an opportunity to say, “There are two sides to every story”, think about that again. It’s an easy statement to make and an easy way to avoid being honest.

I hope you found this post interesting and that it was challenging. For myself, I like a challenge.

God bless and have a good day.


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