Death can open doors to reconciliation

I wrote earlier this week that my mother-in-law was dying.

She died under Hospice care at 4:30 Tuesday morning. My husband was by her side as she drew her last breath.

I was so glad she didn’t die alone.

Death is hard.


And it’s harder when family relationships aren’t what they should be. There are so many unresolved issues. But every once in a while, even the most dysfunctional of families, get it all together at the last minute. That’s what my husband’s family has managed to do.

They made funeral arrangements today with not one moment of dissension. Everyone was agreement.

As I wrote yesterday, it truly touched my heart. I want my husband to be reunited with his brothers and sisters and I sense that is happening. What an unexpected blessing.

It’s so easy to give up when families are so dysfunctional but I have been so encouraged. And even if there is that one, and we all know what that means, the rest can make it work.

And it’s not about quick and easy forgiveness. I am eventually going to do a series of posts about what forgiveness really is. I get very frustrated when Christians diminish The Cross by making forgiveness something we say as easily as we say, “Hello”.

Our forgiveness was bought at a huge price. When we extend real forgiveness, it’s a serious matter that deserves much thought on our part. And then there’s the fact that some offenses don’t even need to be forgiven; they need to be overlooked. Not every offense committed against us requires forgiveness any more than every offense we commit requires an apology.

Can I just say, we need to learn to simply overlook unintended hurts. I have friends who have to overlook some of my quirks just like I have to overlook theirs. That’s part of loving someone.

Don’t you agree?

So with my husband’s family, there have been some deep hurts but they are in the past. They are all different people now. Life and maturity have tempered them. True forgiveness, in this case, means letting the past be in the past and not interfere with the future.

I hope if you are dealing with some dysfunction within your family network, you have the same good experience we did. The same hope for the future.

God bless and have a good day.


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6 replies »

  1. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy to you and yours. Prayers for a permanent family reconciliation. and added strength.