A quick update to recently published post.

I was feeling pretty bad last night but this morning things started to become clear.

I feel God has already made my decision clear for the time being but I still really want your input. It would solidify my thinking.

I will be so excited to share with you next week how God and I came to a mutual agreement.

God bless.

3 replies »

  1. Oh my. This is my life you are describing! Yes I do much better when I am in control of the gathering. People have no idea about this unless I tell them. The three reactions to stress for those of us with trauma filled childhoods are fight, flight or freeze. Freeze and flight are my go tos. I am trying to depend on God more and more but there are still times I just cannot overcome my anxiety. Naming it is the first step to healing. Love you and your posts.

    • HI Debbie,

      Thanks so much for commenting. Would you believe I went to a surprise birthday party just this past Sat and I was fine? But really I was in control there as well when I think about it because I was the one who decided to talk to whomever and I was the one who decided to move on. It was still very much up to me. And you are right, no one would ever guess.

      Would you believe there was a time when I entertained all the time with no problem? I wonder what life does to us. I think my first reaction isn’t any of those you mentioned. I don’t get that far. Mine is avoidance. I’m writing a follow-up post but want to really think it through.

      I still haven’t decided if just how much of it has to do with dependence on God as it does to really understand what God is requiring of me. In other words, is God expecting me to be more social or is it me expecting that? Have you ever wondered if maybe we demand more of us than God does? If maybe our anxiety comes from trying to be something we’re not? We all have certain gifts and maybe we’re expecting too much at times. I know that I’m often much harder on myself than God is.

      But then I think of Moses. Well, I really must stop. But responding to you has helped me clarify some things in my own head.

      Everyone’s responses I’ve read very carefully. While I hate to see that others are like me, it also makes me feel not so alone.

      Thank you so much, Debbie, and God bless.