symbols of justice and law on table of judgeRelationships

How we balance relationship responsibilities when depressed

First, love deeply

How we balance relationship responsibilities is important to our overall mental health. Relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives and when we’re depressed, they can get complicated. I love these words from Henri Nouwen:

Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.   Henry Nouwen

Learning how to love others is where the rubber meets the road in our journey of faith.  

Measuring up

Our faith talk means little if our faith “walk” doesn’t measure up and our faith walk is best evidenced through our relationships with people. That is what keeps us balanced as Christians. When our “walk” reflects our “talk”, we are in balance.

My paraphrase of I Corinthians thirteen is, “Say whatever you want but if you don’t love people (BTW, it’s an action, not a feeling) you’re just blowing smoke.”


But it’s easier said than done when we are depressed.  

Depression is complicated and more difficult when we’re having relationship issues. And many times it’s those relationship issues that cause us the most pain. Even though God knew that we would encounter difficult relationship problems, he still decided we are better off when we have others in our lives, difficulties and all.

Relationship responsibility in balance

Maintain relationship balance

symbols of justice and law on table of judge/balanced relationships

Just as there are people who take on too much responsibility, there are those who don’t take on enough. There needs to be a balance. When there isn’t, especially in a relationship, that relationship will be out of sync. When we give as much in a relationship as we get, we have a balanced relationship. While there will be times when one party has to give more because of circumstances, that’s OK. But that shouldn’t define the relationship overall. If it does, the relationship is off-kilter.

My book addresses relationship issues. But there is more on this blog. The book can be purchased on Barnes and Noble, and I did not have a say about the price and was not happy about them. BUT, I did have a say about the e-book and it’s priced low. It will be available soon. Possibly by the time you read this post.

Make a list to stay balanced

What you can do is avoid any unnecessary drama.  This is where most people run into difficulties. We take on responsibilities that aren’t ours while ignoring those that are. I suggest in my book, that it’s a good idea to make two lists. Write what you are truly responsible for and what you are not responsible for and then compare the lists. More than likely, they are not the same. You are probably leaning more towards one than the other.


Depression can put a damper on just about any relationship. That’s why it’s so important to understand how depression works and how it impacts every part of our lives. Depression is not compartmentalized.

Hope you have a good day and God bless.

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