picture of popeye/Faith

How this author feels after publishing her first book. Peace

So, how does this author feel? At peace.

Now, first of all, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel in the first place. Is there a standard response? Do most authors feel the same way. Like elated, over the moon, excited, important…..? I must be an odd duck because I don’t feel any of those things. I feel great peace.

First of all, peace.

What I feel is a wonderful sense of peace.

swan peacefully swimming/ peace

It makes me feel all warm inside to know I accomplished something God asked me to do. It makes me smile to know I made God smile. And, yes, I believe God smiles, and I believe we can put a smile on his face.

Second, maybe surrealness?

Then again, maybe it’s the surrealness of it all. Can you be a peace and feel surreal at the same time? Apparently you can.. Because, I do.

picture of book with title "Depression has a big voice. Make yours bigger!

So maybe this will all change as soon as I pick one up and hold it in my hand. But I doubt it. I think it will feel surreal. My son said he felt that way when he held his own copy of my book. Even with a copy in my hand, I think I won’t believe it. It will be like someone else wrote it.

Thank goodness.

Finally, drained?

I feel like an open, gaping wound after the last one.

I want to encourage those of you who feel that God is asking you to do that “thing” that only you can do, to go ahead and start. The feeling that will swallow you up and wrap you in the warmth that comes from being obedient is worth it all. It’s a wonderful feeling and I would wish it for any of you who’ve never experienced it.

I know, of course, many of you have and I’m “talking to the choir.”

Following our call can be a lot of work

But it will probably come with a lot of hard work.

When you read these words and I say how hard it was, I’m not exaggerating the least little bit. The process itself, not the writing, was gut-wrenching.

Every symptom I wrote about in the book, I experienced to the most anxiety-producing degree possible. But every fingernail I chewed off was worth it. Every night I lay awake rewriting in my head. Every day I hate more junk food than is normal for me. It was all worth it. At the time, I felt very little peace because it was masked by everything else. Not a good thing.

Picture of Popeye saying "I 'yam who  I 'yam."

No more. As Popeye declared, “I ‘yam who I ‘yam.” Popeye must have been read his bible because that is exactly what the Bible teaches. Psalms 139:14 is our “spinach” that gives us the courage to embrace who we are because God does.

“We are fearfully and wonderfully made.” We have no business telling the Potter he made a mistake.” Peace comes when we accept our uniqueness. Psalm 139:14

Finally, don’t be afraid of the process

I didn’t want to write the book. Oh, I wanted to write. Just not that one. I wasted a lot of time being plain scared to death. From day to day, I didn’t know what the next part of the challenge would be. It was never the writing itself; I had a clear understanding of where I was heading once I got started. It was learning new computer programs, filling out forms, working with the publisher.

There are parts we don’t like.

I love the writing but the promoting. But I hate talking about the book because it brings us so much personal stuff and I worry about what other people are thinking of me. I imagine all kinds of things. (This is, of course, addressed in the book.)

But last week, I had a little of an epiphany. I woke up one day and said, “Enough is enough.” God called you to write a book; you wrote a book. Shouldn’t that be a confidence booster? Do I really have to apologize for wearing make-up, liking to look nice, getting facials? And, yes, I did chastise myself for those things. I’m sorry to say I even felt like apologizing for writing a book? That makes no sense, does it?

Learn as you go

You will probably find yourself in the same situation, no matter what the “thing” is God has called you to. You will probably wonder what any of it has to do with the end result. But just learn the next thing you have to learn. Each new learning curve prepares you for the next one.

Reading and research is part of the process

I used to think the time I spent reading was a waste of time. It wasn’t. Everything I read then and read now prepares me for the next book. Learn from those who have gone before you. Learn from me. Our “calls” may be different but the process of getting there is pretty much the same.

God bless each of your today and I hope you have a good one.