Month: August 2021

How to stop the spiral of depression when your feelings are hurt

Table of Contents

Hurt feelings are hard enough to bear but coupled with a tendency to depression or anxiety, it’s even harder. We just keep going over it again and again in our heads.

Hurt feelings keeps us a victim

It’s these kinds of circumstances that can really jump-start a downward spiral if we don’t stop it immediately. We convince ourselves these situations are catastrophic.  They’re usually not and are often just our perception. Plus, we might just have taken something the wrong way.

That’s what hurt feelings do. They keep us a victim and open the door to depression. We feel like we’re an open wound just waiting for someone to make it worse.

Taking our hurt feelings to God

When I encounter these situations I try to remind myself that hurt feelings don’t mean I have to let them get me down. I mentally whisper to God. “Lord, would you just put this in my “trouble” box and hang on to it till we can talk?” I do this often when something is bothering me as I know that I need to be in a safe place when I open that box.  For me, that safe place is time with God.

We open the box when I can give him my full attention. I pour out my concerns.  I hold nothing back. No pretending I’m not hurt. Just me and God.

round and square red gift boxes/dealing with hurt feelings

I talk. 

He listens. 

Then He talks through the scriptures and I try hard to listen.

Beating depression requires honesty

Beating depression means being honest with oneself.. That means not making mountains out of mole hills but also not making mole hills out of mountains.  If it hurts, it hurts. We don’t have to chastise ourselves for being human.

Being mentally healthy doesn’t mean everything in our lives is as we would like it to be.  It doesn’t mean there won’t be days when our feelings get hurt. What it does mean is that we learn how to deal with hurt, fear, and disappointment in a healthy way. The method can look quite different for each of us.

Coming up with a plan

Do you have a pre-determined method to deal with hurt feelings? If not, maybe you can come up with your own plan for the future. It can be different for everyone.

Some people may choose to walk it off, others to cry it off. Others may choose to confide in someone. Some may choose to simply let it go. But there is one thing we shouldn’t do.

And that is, ignore it. There are two reasons..

Ways to manage hurt feelings

when it’s us.

Firstly, if you determine it isn’t always the other person, it’s you, because your feelings seem to be hurt more than the average person, then you need to uncover why. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You might just be an overly sensitive person and there are things you can do about that. There are a lot of people that qualify for this diagnosis. And it’s not necessarily bad.

are you over-sensitive?

It’s good to be sensitive. There should be more people in this world who are. But just like with any good quality, it can be too much of a good thing. Over-sensitivity can cause us all kinds of problems and we can find ourselves too easily hurt. But if that’s the case, you can learn, perhaps with a counselor, how to manage your sensitivity. There are some good books as well that can help.

Remember, you don’t have to keep putting yourself in the position of someone hurting your feelings. At the same time, if you’re feelings are continually being hurt, that’s on you. We all have a responsibility to take care of ourselves and our feelings while at the same time, making sure we aren’t hurting others.

Don’t let satan twist the knife.

If you let hurt feelings build up, there will eventually come that time when you will either blow up or let depression take over. Either option is bad. Also, Satan loves to have you in this position where he can twist the knife a little further and plunge you on a downward spiral about everything. Don’t give satan that opportunity.

five ways to deal with hurt feelings

  • 1. It’s Ok to be sensitive. It’s better than being cold.
  • 2. Admit your feelings.
  • 3. Determine if you are too sensitive and find a way to deal with it.
  • 4. Take responsibility for your feelings.
  • 5. Learn to manage your feelings.

There’s no denying that hurt feelings, well, hurt. I hate it when my feelings are hurt. But I also hate it when other peoples’ feelings are hurt. And, I don’t ever want to hurt anyone else. But it never helps to deny our hurt feelings.

When we pretend, our hurt festers and becomes more hurtful. We let them spill over into other areas of our lives and we end up being victims. There are way too many “victims” walking around.. I’m not into victimhood, can you tell?

Don”t end up tattoing “victim” on your forehead. It leaves a scar.

God bless and have a good day.

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