Tag: anger

Henrietta Lacks

Why won’t some people admit their mistake

What is it with some people that they can’t admit they’re wrong? Especially when there’s no need not to.  For example, let’s say you show someone an object that is clearly black and they argue that it’s white. What would you think?

Well, I had such an experience with my local librarian. I went to check out a book and because I couldn’t find it on the shelf I asked an assistant to see if it was in fact in the library. If it hadn’t been checked out, then it was probably misfiled and I would just look harder. I told her the name of the author but she couldn’t find it. I spelled it for her,”It’s  L-a-c-K-s,” I said.   

The head librarian overheard me and decided to correct me, even though no one asked him for his advice.

“No, it’s not L-a-c-k-s, it’s L-a-c-h-s,” he said.

“No, I have a picture of the book on my phone”, I said. “It is L-a-c-k-s. Would you like to see it?” I thought I was being helpful. I would have thought that as a librarian he most definitely would want to be corrected about something as important as an author’s last name.

“No”, he curtly replied. “I don’t need to see it. I know how it’s spelled.”

Now here I am looking right at the cover of the book on my phone when he says this. But I couldn’t make him look so I let it go.

The assistant found the book. It was spelled L-a-c-k-s, just like I said. I wanted to take it over to the librarian and throw it at him!. But he was so sure he was right I think he would have still denied what his own eyes would have clearly shown him.

So then I thought, maybe the last name was changed for some reason. I was still trying to give him a break although I don’t know why. I read the intro and about the first fifty pages or so when I got home. The name had always been spelled with an “k”, not at “h”.

What is it with people that they can be so obviously wrong and yet refuse to admit it? Lord, help me if I’m ever that stubborn. I wished I’d shoved it in front of his face and yelled, “It’s L-a-c-K-s!!!!

By the way, here’s the book’s cover.

Henrietta Lacks

Here’s some information from Amazon about the book.

Her name was Henrietta Lacks, but scientists know her as HeLa. She was a poor black tobacco farmer whose cells—taken without her knowledge in 1951—became one of the most important tools in medicine, vital for developing the polio vaccine, cloning, gene mapping, and more. Henrietta’s cells have been bought and sold by the billions, yet she remains virtually unknown, and her family can’t afford health insurance. This phenomenal New York Times bestseller tells a riveting story of the collision between ethics, race, and medicine; of scientific discovery and faith healing; and of a daughter consumed with questions about the mother she never knew.

It’s a fascinating story and soon to be a movie.

That librarian was gone in a few weeks. I mean how can you be a librarian and be that contrary about the author of a book? Isn’t that what librarians would want to get right?

So won’t people admit their mistakes?

I think there are probably a number of reasons but I’m thinking that pride might be the biggest one. Especially when one should know better.

The librarian absolutely should have known how the author’s name was spelled. It was a very popular book at the time of this incident. For him to have admitted his mistake would have been, in his eyes, a serious blow to his role as a librarian. But it was his pride that got in his way because I wouldn’t have thought any less of him. In fact, I would have thought much higher of him.

As it was, I thought him a very small man.

Pride can be so good when it empowers us to do our best, to be our best. Pride is terrible when it causes rifts in relationships and causes others to disrespect us.

Proverbs 29:23
“A man’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.

As you know if you’ve followed this blog for the past few weeks, my mom died three weeks ago. Three weeks tomorrow to be exact. I so wanted to take her shopping and out to eat the weeks before her stroke. She was still conversant at that time and able to enjoy herself. However, she wouldn’t go if she had to use her walker and believe me when I say, there is no way I could take her out without it. She was an accident waiting to happen.

One day I did manage to get her out on her front steps so she could see her flowers, and when I tried to steady her she told me not to because she didn’t want her neighbors to see she needed help.

So she never left her house those last months. It broke my heart to see how pride stopped her from living her life.

I don’t like admitting when I’m wrong but eventually I do. I do so because I know that pride will lead me down a path I don’t want to take.

Let’s be careful that we’re not so sure of ourselves, we can’t at least consider other options to our strongly held beliefs. Honestly, I don’t know anyone who isn’t very generous when someone admits they’re wrong. I always think higher of a person who admits their mistakes, don’t you?

And when it’s as obvious and easy as it was with the librarian, one has to assume it’s pride because he wasn’t even willing to look at the evidence.  I wonder what he would’ve said when he saw the title and how the author’s name was spelled.

Pride leads to arrogance and that’s exactly what happened to him. His pride made him arrogant.

Pride never stops at just pride. It always “morphs” into other areas. 

Don’t be afraid to admit you’re wrong about unimportant things and then it won’t be hard to admit your fault with the bigger ones.

And just so you know, I am working on this myself.

God bless and have a good day.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my followers

Happy Thanksgiving to all my followers.

Thanksgiving

I was thinking this morning how I wished I could meet each of you and hear your story. Especially if you struggle or have struggled with depression, anxiety, OCD, etc, what I could learn from you.

I would love to know what has helped and what hasn’t. What I haven’t focused on enough, what I should focus on more.

I know for sure that some of you are not going to have a great Thanksgiving. I can remember some that weren’t so great myself. Depression had stolen my joy. I can remember just wanting the holidays to be over.

tumblr_m8zknkLTgw1r16x4po1_500

There’s almost nothing worse than seeing everyone else’s happiness while you feel so empty inside.

I am praying for you. I am praying for you to find something in your life today for which you can be thankful.  I know that gratitude can be a wonderful mood-lifter.

laugh

For those of you who have been able to leave mental illness in the dust, I pray for your continued progress. For those of you still struggling, I promise to continue writing messages of hope and encouragement.

For all of you, I pray a day of peace from worry, anger, anxiety, fear, etc. I am truly grateful for each of you and say thank-you to all of you. I know there are many of you lurking in the shadows as my stats show that. That’s OK. I know you’re there and I am grateful.

God bless and Happy Thanksgiving.

guilty

When your guilt-free bubble bursts, what do you do?

Wouldn’t you just know it?

You come up with a great idea and you excitedly post about it. You know it’s going to help so many.

And, of course, you know that because you’ve come up with such a great concept, you’ve got “it” licked.

Right?

Wrong. Continue reading “When your guilt-free bubble bursts, what do you do?”

When bad news overwhelms us; the antidote.

Intentionally remember God’s faithfulness.

I wrote this statement a while back as a prompt for future posts.

It was going to be about how God has been faithful to us.

It was going to be about how and why it’s important to take the time to purposely and intentionally remember the very specific ways God has been faithful to us as individuals.

But when we’re faced with some horrendous act, God’s faithfulness to us takes on new meaning, doesn’t it?

A few weeks ago my  ninety-one-year-old mother said to me, “I don’t understand. What makes people do things like this?” (In reference to a horrific local news story.)

I had no answer.

But I was mad.

mad

I was mad that my mother has to feel a moment of fear at her age. She should be able to turn on the television and not be bombarded with all the evil in the world.

Are you wondering where I’m going with this?

Evil, whether perpetrated against personally or not is so insidious that everyone who learns of it is negatively affected. We do not live in isolated pockets like we once did. People who live on farms are just has affected as those who live in crowded cities.

We do not live in isolated pockets like we once did. Anyway, whether on a remote farm or in a crowded city, if they have a TV, they know about it and it affects them.

horrific

We live in a world where violence in one geographical location frightens people in every corner of the world. No one is exempt.

Is our world more violent? Or is it that the news pundits through their continual news shows, make it so because we hear it more than once a day.

There was a time, and not that long ago, when we heard the news only in the evening. That was it. One time a day.

Now we hear it and read it on our phones, our computers, and our TV’s, constantly. We can’t get  away from it.

Except last week, I kinda’ did.

We were at “Teeny, Tiny, Red Cabin” and we don’t have internet service. Our phones have “iffy”phone service so we only heard the news a couple of times a day. It was so peaceful. I’ve never made that connection before, that one of the reasons being at the cabin is so peaceful, is because I’m not bombarded with bad news.

So what to do?

I’ll bet if we started keeping track of every little good thing that comes into our lives every day, the scales would weigh in favor of the good.

Why?

Because God is always “blessing”. God and his blessing are intertwined.  God and his goodness can’t be separated. We simply don’t keep track of each and every way He steps into our lives to rescue us, protect us, bless us, love us……

God is love

So if you’re like me and getting tired of all the bad, take the antidote and concentrate on God’s goodness.

Remember what he has done for you.

This is not a “stick your head in the sand” kind of approach. We need to be aware of world events. We need to know what evil exists so we can attack it a number of ways.

But for those times, when the news is nothing but bad, think on God’s goodness.

God bless and I hope you have a good new.

 

Is any day refundable? Are there “do overs”?

The short answer to the question posed by this blog title is “no”.

I think we all know that. We can’t relive a day. Heck, we can’t even relive a moment.

We can’t relive a word, an action, even a thought. They imprint our soul. They even change our body’s chemistry.

We all know that our blood pressure goes up when we’re angry, frustrated, or in pain. But we can also lower our blood pressure and reduce our pain by practicing certain meditation techniques.

So the short answer turns out to be the only answer.

At least for that day.

But there is always tomorrow. And hopefully sunshine. My side of the state of Michigan as been unbelievably gloomy for days and days now. In two days ( I’m counting), we’re supposed to have sunshine for a whole week!

sunshine

For every day and every hour we’ve thrown away, for every day and every hour we’ve blown, tomorrow is new opportunity.

This past week I threw away some hours, not full days, thank goodness. There were justifiable reasons and I think just about anyone in my position would have reacted the same way. It’s not that I said or did anything wrong; it’s that I internalized a situation I had no control over.

I took responsibility for something that wasn’t mine to take.

elephant on my back

If you’ve read this blog for a while you know I take umbrage with anyone who doesn’t take responsible for their actions. I’m a big believer in personal responsibility.

And I’m the one, no one else, who threw away those hours. I alone bear the responsibility for letting any situation or person, rob me of the joy of the day.

(I hope you know I am not talking about serious, life-changing situations.)

We all do it.

We do it all the time.

We let situations and people take control of our moods.

We need to seriously evaluate those days and create a plan for the next time we encounter a similar situation.

Actually, I’ve come a long way. Those few hours were once many days. There’s something about running into a brick wall time and again that leaves us pretty bruised and one could question why we would do it more than once.

You would think once would be enough;  I mean running into a brick wall hurts.

A lot.

But in our defense, it’s usually because we deeply care for people that we find ourselves in situations that upset us so much.

But it doesn’t have to.

Isaiah 48:18
New International Version
If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea.
Eph 5:16
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
We all have a choice how we live our lives. We can be loving and caring for others but also love and care for ourselves.
God bless and take care of yourself today.

 

 

 

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