Tag: anxiety

scared

When ghosts are in your house

I’m kidding, of course. I don’t believe in ghosts.

But my grandson does think our house is “spooky”. Actually, when my husband was traveling a lot, my friends would ask me if I was afraid to be alone in this house.

spooky

I never have been. Maybe that says something about me, that maybe I’m not too bright.

bulb

I guess it could be a little scary to some people. It’s four floors. Our attic has regular ceilings, for example. And, of course, there’s the basement.

We are in a regular housing area but the road dips down in front of our house so it seems like we’re up on a hill all by ourselves. Plus, our driveway is kind of weird and our house sits on our property at an odd angle so our neighbors can’t really see our house.

So anyway, yesterday we had some huge trees removed (which prompted some interesting thoughts for the post tomorrow) and there were some pretty big thuds.

Later that night, around ten, all of a sudden we hear loud music coming from the basement. Neither one of us had been down there at all during the day.

What in the world? So my big brave husband says, “Sounds like your CD player and your exercise music. Go down and check it out.”

 

So my big brave husband says, “Sounds like your CD player and your exercise music. Go down and check it out.”

“What”, I say. “You mean you’re not coming?”

 

“It’s your CD player”, my big brave man says.

brave husband

“I’m not going down there myself”. Anyway, he finally got brave enough to follow downstairs and just as we figured, it was my CD player on full volume.

We figure what happened was the vibrations from the tree branches hitting the ground jarred the player somehow. But for some reason, it didn’t come on until later and that was because the player sits on a shelf directly above our underground pump and those vibrations somehow made it start to play.

As I said, I’ve never been afraid in this house, but had I been alone when that happened, I most certainly would’ve been.

scared

But, are you wondering if I would have gone down there all on my own. Yep, I would’ve.

Even without my big brave man to help me. 😦

God bless and have a good day.

(PS. I told my husband I was “telling” on him. That’ll teach him.”

 

funeral flowers

How God answered an important prayer

Just a quick update.

I posted yesterday that I wasn’t sure I would be able to share my thoughts at my mother’s funeral yesterday.

I asked for prayers.

As I was falling asleep Monday night I remembered one of my favorite portions of Scripture, Philippians 4: 6 & 7: (italics mine.)

Be careful for nothing (don’t worry about anything); but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, and with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (tell God about them.)

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding,will keep (protect) your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

As I fell asleep, I knew I would be able to share my thoughts. It was like a cloud of peace came over me. I felt “cocooned” from fear and anxiety.

The day was hard. But when the time came, I was able to say what I needed to say without falling apart. Others spoke as well and it was truly a celebration of her life.  There were times the attendees (of which there were far many more than I thought there would be), were actually laughing. That’s exactly what we wanted.

My mom said and did some very funny things.

Believe it or not, the scripture portion I asked my husband to read was from II Samuel 12: 15-22, where King David is mourning his son because he is very ill. The son dies and David quits mourning. This was our message to everyone, to remember my mom but not to be consumed with grief.

Here’s the thing, love the people in your life the very best you can and then when the time comes to say good-bye, you don’t have to have regrets.

I will share more at another time but for now, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who lifted me up in prayer.

God bless and have a wonderful day.

exercise and depression

When medicine doesn’t cost us anything

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...

Exercise is the medicine that doesn’t cost anything. I’m not talking about joining a gym or buying expensive equipment although I have done both.  I did belong to a gym once but decided to have to “doll up” and keep my stomach sucked in every time I went wasn’t for me.

Plus, I’m highly competitive so that didn’t help. I had to execute all the moves perfectly and prove to have more stamina than anyone else. It was just too much like work, not the exercise, all the rest of it.

Like most of us, I don’t like “thinking” about exercise but I like knowing that I’m doing something proactive about my health.  I’m a strong advocate for using exercise to fend off depression and anxiety as well.

I’ve said this before but I’ve literally walked off an anxiety attack through exercise. I can’t think of a single condition that exercise of some sort doesn’t help.  Exercise has been shown to work as well if not better than medication for mild to moderate cases of depression.  The “experts” say it’s because it’s the endorphins that are released.  While I’m sure that’s true, I think it’s also because we feel we have done something for ourselves and that feels empowering.

I always wonder why some people are so willing to take another pill when something as simple as walking could accomplish the same benefit.  And a gym membership or home equipment isn’t necessary either.  Walking thirty to forty minutes about five days a week is enough.

exercise and depression

One of my coping skills to get through this period of my mom’s illness has been exercise.  It’s been a rare day I haven’t walked.  It’s almost spiritual for me. I don’t believe our lives are meant to be compartmentalized. We should move seamlessly from one area of our lives to another.  If the Holy Spirit lives within us, then doesn’t it make sense that there’s no such thing being spiritual only during our “religious” activities.

One last thing though.  When I walk I still have to have my make-up on. Sad, huh?

God bless and have a good day.

Next week could be rough

Next week could be a problem.

My brother is going to be out-of-town for six days. I have made arrangements for twenty-four-hour care for my mother. We are concerned about how she will do in the evenings. I will be there until she goes to bed but if she wakes up in the middle of the night and sees someone unfamiliar there, we don’t know how she will react.

I am not spending the nights with her because I won’t sleep a wink. I’d be worried I might not hear her. Falling is a real concern. Plus, I have to stay healthy for the long-term.

So if any of you feel so inclined, I would appreciate your prayers. My brother will be gone Saturday through Thursday.

I am feeling particularly anxious about this. But I keep reminding myself of Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hopefully, I will be right back on schedule for Monday, ’cause I want to start writing about spring projects.

Oh, by the way, the following pictures will give you a hint.

Have you ever tried to chip mastic off of a cement base? In one word:

img_1424

img_1425

removing tile/2017

DON’T

Do you see all those little ridges of mastic? They have to be chipped down to no more than 1/8 inch.

Fun, huh? So think about me as we finish this up today and tomorrow. Then there’s the carpet to rip up.

Fun.

God bless and have a good day.

 

 

 

 

 

When there is no encouragement and no “good”word

(If you read this post yesterday, I apologize. It wasn’t supposed to go out until today. Does that tell you how overwhelmed I am? But much good has come my way since yesterday. I’ve made some progress on the legal side and some discussions with friends and family have enlightened me and solidified my thinking. Sometimes we get so intent on being “fair”, we’re not very smart. But that’s when God steps in and encourages you to take stock of not only everyone else but yourself as well. Satan likes to make us second-guess God’s clear wisdom. If we stay focused though and don’t rush ahead of ourselves, it all eventually becomes clear. That’s how God shows us mercy. So I am publishing this post again in case you missed it yesterday.

 I am reposting it under another title with some changes.  I most certainly would’ve re-read it last night and edited it. I always do. So today’s version includes some of those minor changes.)

I have a lot of versions of Proverbs 12:25 for you to read. But before you do, let me warn you.

This is a brutally honest post and I’m writing it as a long-time follower of Christ.

New International Version
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
New Living Translation
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
English Standard Version
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad
New American Standard Bible
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.
King James Bible
Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.
Aren’t these great verses? I mean they’re some of my favorite.
But guess what?
Sometimes there are no “good” words to say.
Sometimes there are no words of encouragement.
Sometimes there is nothing that can cheer us up.
inactivity-and-depression
Have you ever been there? When there can be no “good” outcome?
I sure hate to start your day off this way but if you’re struggling as I am with a similar situation, maybe this will help.
You all know my mom has been diagnosed with dementia. I’ve tried hard not to believe this. I’ve explained away all her symptoms as something else. But the confusion is increasing. My brother and I are pretty discouraged as we see the future and it doesn’t look good.
Is there any “good” word that anyone can say?
Nope.
Before you judge my faith, this is truly a case of  “unless you’ve had this horrible disease impact your life”, you have no clue.
Where my faith does come in is not what “good” words anyone might say but only the promise that somehow, some way, God will keep his promise to me, “that he will never give me more than I can handle”. Right now I don’t see how that can be but I trust God because I know he sees the big picture.

God sees the big picture

 I only see this little microscopic and miserable part of my current situation. There is nothing “good” about dementia. There is no good “word” anyone can say. And everyone who’s experienced this with a loved one knows what I’m talking about.
There is no mention of dementia anywhere in scripture. I will be honest and say, “This really bothers me.” I mean at least if I had some specific story I could relate to, some “words” I could quote from scripture that says “Here’s what you do when someone is diagnosed with dementia”, that would help. But there’s nothing.
Many people experience situations every day for which there is no corresponding example in the Bible.
So what are we to do?
I’d like to think my faith will be strengthened. But I think it’s likely to be challenged instead.
I’d like to think I’ll have an inspirational story to tell someday, but there’s nothing inspirational about dementia.
I’d like to think I’ll come out on the other side of all this a better person but I worry that I won’t. I could go on……
But what it really boils down to is one word that I’m clinging to:

Mercy

(Yesterday, as I wrote in the first paragraph, mercy showed up through conversations and insights.  Tomorrow mercy might present itself in a book or a song. Mercy has no limitations. God can use whatever vehicle he wants to send mercy our way. The only thing we have to do is recognize it.  

I am counting on God’s mercy showering me time and again in God’s most creative ways.  I am thankful today that we do indeed serve a merciful God who leads us when we are tired, angry, confused, directionless, flailing about, etc.  I’m glad we serve a merciful God that looks past our failings, real or imagined. )

I hope this helped and God bless you today.
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