Tag: reactions

hutch after Christmas

Concentrate on the good to eliminate the bad

This is the time of year we make resolutions, even if we say we don’t. I think it’s just where our minds go.

I find it’s more positive to concentrate on the good we want to initiate rather than concentrate on the bad habits we want to change.

For example, instead of thinking about losing ten pounds which sounds so hard and so negative, why not picture ourselves in those new styles we want to wear?

Instead of giving up something, think about what the benefits will be.

Television watching is a good example. If you want to watch less TV so you can read more, think about that book you’re never getting around to reading. Put it somewhere as a reminder that in order to read that book, something else that is taking up your time has to go. In this case, watching TV.

I exercise pretty much every day. To be honest, I like exercising because I like how it makes me feel afterward. But mostly I exercise because I like being able to do the other things I like doing and seeing as all of them involve being able to walk upright and be healthy, (Seriously how can one enjoy anything if you don’t feel good in the first place?) I exercise. I know too many unhealthy people and the one thing they all have in common is that they don’t engage in regular physical exercise.

So because I don’t want to end up like them, I exercise. I guess that is focusing on the negative but in a postive way?

Most of us have some unhealthy habits. Not all of them are obvious. Many of them lie deep inside us.

We have negative and habitual ways we respond to people. Instead of focusing on what we’re doing wrong, let’s look at how we would like our relationships to look. If our actions are causing reactions in other people that bring us down, then it’s up to us, no matter how unfair, to change our behavior.

I know someone that I care deeply for who changes the subject, (it’s so obvious, but not to them) whenever I enter territory they don’t want to talk about. So I’ve learned (and it’s a goal to continue for this next year) to approach certain subjects differently and in some cases, not at all.

This is not really healthy as most relationships function better and are healthier when there aren’t these constraints but sometimes for our own well-being we have no choice.

I’m trying to think of an example.

Got one.

I’m a big advocate of people being more responsible for their health. To leave our health all in the hands of the health professionals seems crazy to me, especially when there’s so much information readily available. But I still believe in doctor’s visit, etc.

I know a few people who have been battling recurring and ongoing irksome medical problems. Rather than searching for answers through doctor’s visits and their own research, they choose to continue with the issue. I say choose because I believe in the end, that’s what it is, a choice. (I’m  not talking about really serious medical conditions here, of course.)

I used to “nag” them to check-in with their doctor, to exercise more, to try certain other things to see if they work. I don’t anymore. Not because I care less for them but because I also care about myself. There’s something about running into a brick wall that hurts after a while.

Haven’t you all been there?

After a period of time, if you’re smart, you realize you need to change how you interact with some people. Now I wait for them to bring up certain subjects and then I “brainstorm” with them for a while, but when that “brainstorming” becomes nothing more than talk with no plans for follow-up, I’M the one who now changes the subject.

Anyway, as you begin this new year and if you’re trying to change some things, try to look at your goals and how to get there from a more positive approach.

It’s another dark, dreary and COLD day here in Michigan. I’m continuing to take down Christmas decorations and get the house back in order. It looks so “plain” now. I’ve got to get more accessories. (Did I tell you we fell in love with this big old house during the Christmas season?)

Here’s a before and after of my dining room hutch. Which do you prefer?

Christmas 2016


This is so boring now. It’s the lack of red, isn’t it?

hutch after Christmas

After looking at my hutch now, I see I’m focusing on the negative. Enough of that.

Anyway, God bless and have a really good day.

ps. I hope you read tomorrow’s post.


Why we all need to develop a worldview?

Our Bible study is watching a great video series, called The Truth Project.  It is sponsered by Focus On The Family. (I have not always been a fan of FOTF, but I do like this series very much.)

I found it especially good because I’ve been thinking along these lines myself a lot lately.

  • What is a worldview?
  • What is a Christian worldview and is it any different?
  • Should I have one?

I think I have some answers. You can read more here. Continue reading “Why we all need to develop a worldview?”




I think part of the problem in keeping resolutions is taking one’s time in compiling them in the first place. Some resolutions are no more than “wishes”, which isn’t a bad thing but without a well thought out plan to keep our resolutions, there’s no chance we’ll be successful.

Resolutions should be based on sound strategy. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves before we even begin. For example, let’s say weight loss or weight control is one of my resolutions. Instead of just saying, “I’ll eat healthier”, I need to qualify what makes uphealthy eating. Maybe I should add, I will plan healthy meals. I will eat fruit and veggies every day. I will only bring healthy food into my home. I will do this by shopping the perimeter of the store. I will develop a strategy for eating away from home. I will tell myself not every special occasion is an excuse to indulge. It’s amazing how every occasion becomes “special” when we need an excuse to indulge. 

My blog is about maintaining good mental health with an emphasis on depression. It never works to just declare, “Next year I won’t get depressed.” Not going to happen without a plan. Everyone’s plan will be unique. It helps to gather information, to listen to what others are doing but in the end your plan will have to be yours.  

Sometimes our plan emerges bit by bit. It’s as if Creation decides to shine on us knowing we’re waiting and little drops of information shower us until a plan comes together. Let me explain. My husband and I exercise regularly. We try to eat healthy but we both have a sweet tooth. Last night I grilled hamburgers accompanied by broccoli.  So what’s the problem, you ask?  Sometimes we don’t eat enough. I get so hung up on keeping us trim, I don’t cook enough. Consequently, we end up snacking before bedtime.

Light bulb flash!  Eat more.

 So I will make sure our meals are more substantial. I will add more healthy side dishes to every meal so we don’t get hungry later. Whoever though eating more could be the clue to weighing less?  But it’s an old concept. One we don’t hear about as much as we used to.

I already know how to cook healthier. I already know what healthy foods are and what they aren’t. I already know about portion control.  Let’s face it.  Most of us know this. It’s narrowing in on the specific individual issues that sabotage our individual plans, like snacking at night for husband and me.

So this is how I’m beginning my month of planning my resolutions. I’m thinking through each big goal.  I’m narrowing my focus.  In case you’re wondering, my resolutions will revolve around healthy living (including mental, emotional, spiritual and course, physical.) relationships, organization and personal goals. I will be looking at what has worked for me in each of these areas and what hasn’t and then refining my plans.

It isn’t nearly as involved or complicated as it sounds. I’m smart enough to know that those areas that haven’t been working aren’t necessarily under my control. That will mean I will need to adjust my reactions and responses for those situations that are outside my control.  And deciding that ahead of time, will serve me well when the situation occurs.  Forewarned is forearmed.

And even if I’m not successful in some areas, at least I will know I’ve examined my life. I know me.  I know that once I make a plan, I will try my best to implement it. But if I have no plan I know me well enough to know I will flounder.

How are you doing with thinking through your resolutions?  Or are you? You don’t have to call them resolutions if that sounds doomed to failure.  But it never hurts anyone to set aside a little time every day for a few weeks just to think through some things. What could it possibly hurt? And who knows, it might even help. 

Happy thinking.



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