Now I don’t usually feel like smacking a perfect stranger but this eighteen year old woman who has been all over the news for suing her parents to financially support her even though she’s moved out and has called them every name under the sun is beyond belief. She’s spoiled beyond belief I haven’t talked to anyone who feels otherwise. See here .
But it does present some interesting questions.
First, how did what is essentially a family problem, get to be public in the first place? Oh, I know, a lawyer. Couldn’t have happened without his interference. Was the girl abused? There is no evidence that suggests that. This lawyer was in it for the notoriety.
Secondly, this young woman didn’t get to be a brat all by herself. I’m all for personal responsibility and don’t believe anyone has a right as an adult (and an eighteen year old is an adult) to blame their parents for their own poor choices.
Having said that, what was this teen-ager like at three, four, five? You can bet there were signs along the way. Did her parents not see them? Or did they just ignore them, thinking she would “grow out of it”? An eighteen year-old doesn’t just wake up one morning a self-centered, selfish, foul-mouthed person.There were lots of signs along the way.
Like the red-headed three-year old at a restaurant. My friend and I were having dinner and right behind us were these parents and their out-of-control toddler. I thought, “Boy, are they going to have their problems with him as he gets older.” They seemed to act as if they didn’t know what to do. Really? Take him to the restroom and have a serious talk with him. Then when you get him home, follow it up with some consequences. And next time, catch that bad behavior right when it flares up. No one does a child any good by allowing behavior that is only going to cause them problems in the future. And cause them trouble, it will.
My heart goes out to these parents but my mind tells me there was probably a point in her childhood when they needed to wake up and smell the coffee and address a few issues. Maybe not, but as I said before, it’s not been my experience that people change overnight.
Parents today seem unwilling to do the necessary work required in parenting. It’s not easy to be a good parent. It means letting your kids get mad at you and not feel it’s the end of the world. It means paying attention, something I see lacking with many parents. It means knowing your child is not perfect. It’s not always the other kids’ fault. For me, it meant praying for them. It still does. No matter how old are children are, they need our prayers.
Good parenting means loving a child in a way that is best for them. Children need to know they are loved and most children feel loved when there is structure and boundaries in their life. It makes them feel protected and secure. While not an excuse if you didn’t get it, it does open up a sliver of empathy for this teen-ager. After all she is God’s child.
But for the most part, I’d just like to “smack” (tongue in cheek) her. 🙂